A 3 year Dream Manifested

For 3 years this has lingered on my wishlist. In 2011 when it was almost $1000 i could not afford it. This year i saved and saved and saved some more with this in mind. On monday I shelled out close to 1,000 on my canon, plus lenses and other equipment and was so completely happy.

It came today on thursday at 4pm. After waiting around the house all day so i wouldn’t miss it (it required a signature), i decided to take a quick shower. Its very hot here in northern califirnia so naturally I was sweaty and gross.

And surprise, while i was wet and naked the ups man finally decided to show up. Hearing my dog bark, i hopped out the shower, threw some clothes on while still wet and ended up chasing him down the street. Luckily he was still on foot.

But, I recieved my dream today. Opened up the box with my heart all aflutter and began dancing around the house.

Now as the universe conspires to give me all of my desires, i was put into contact with a mentor the day i ordered my camera (literally right after) and he contacted me today before the delivery and taught me alot and is just as excited as i am although he is way pro and is making a living as a freelancer. We r going shooting next Wednesday and words cant described how pumped up i am that everything is happening so fast.

Put out there the things you want and do it. Dream and do and youll never believe the things that will start falling into place. Take the plunge! With me being completely unhappy at my job and literally on the verge of leaving, i made this investment a priority. No, not putting it off any longer. I may hate my job, but im still a dreamer. When i leave my job, I wont be able to afford the investment in new ventures. The time was NOW. It always is.

After all, if a person wont take the time and resources to invest in themselves, how can one expect anyone else to?

Take as many steps as you can on your own and the rest will fall into place. Nothing happens over night.

The Foreign Exchange Live in Sacramento!

I went on a solo concert mission to downtown Sacramento to see one of my all time favorite bands The Foreign exchange.

A friend I had known online for years gave me a heads up about it as she lives in my city. I took the last minute invitation and went solo. Later on meeting up with her and another one of her friends and having a fantastic time. The show was way beyond worth the ticket price and me and the whole crowd did not want it to end.

I learned very very young that the best way to miss out on the great things in life is to always rely on someone to be by your side at all times. When you have the freedom, time, and money to do what you always wanted to do or see what youve always dreamed of seeing, go for it on your own. You’ll meet great people along the way and have the experiences of a lifetime…. In comparison to pouting on the couch as life passes you by.

Amazing show.

Finding Peace and air In Lake Tahoe

A much needed get away happened this weekend in honor of my first anniversary with the boy. This also happens to be my longest and happiest relationship. Yes, Im an amateur.

We coasted up through the Sierra Nevada Mountains to Lake Tahoe to experience a new place, new scenery, warm waters and the cleanest air ive ever had the pleasure to breathe . I swear you never realize how much pure shit you are breathing in on a day to day basis living in cities until you travel up to the mountains or to low populated areas.

Yes, this is what air is supposed to be.

Travel, even overnight weekend trips like this, always makes it easier for everything to click into place for me. Everything goes into perspective and I reach a certain amount of clarity especially on the return home.

Getting away and enjoying that ounce of pure freedom and discovery is liberating. I experience myself at my happiest and realize it is possible. My happiness is meant to be, and all of the stresses I left back home are not worth it and the toll it takes on my mind.

The stress comes from unimportant things. My life is the only important thing and my most prized posession and I have to continue to live it to the fullest and not plague myself with all of the What ifs.

I have to have faith and keep in mind that life is a constant cycle of change. I feel as if at 24 almost 25, Ive lived many different lives in many different places and horrible situations ive gone through seem like impossibilities that happened a life time ago. They no longer matter.

Ive grown into someone I never thought I would become, drawn to things I never imagined I would be into. And surprisingly, I’ve been led into my happiness blindly and without planning.
And even though it may not measure up to the lives and interest of most of my peers or understood by anybody i consider close to me, I feel that this is for me. And I know that I have indeed found the secret.

Cycling: A Love Affair.

A love affair has begun.
The previous bike was too big for little old me so I handed it off to a friend and bought one tailored to my height and body type.

I’m obviously in love and I hope this love affair never passes.

I never would have thought I’d become a dedicated cyclist. In fact, ask me two years ago or even two months ago if I would ever ride a bike on a daily basis and I would’ve looked at you sideways and said hell no.

Its for kids right? Adults NEED cars.
Ever wanted to slap yourself for being a close minded idiot?

I’m not even sure what led me to this purchase but I followed my heart the day after I was gifted the previous bike and took it out for 20 miles a few hours after purchasing. Insta love.

I’ve met up with sunrise, rode into sunsets, climbed steep hills, long trails to beaches. Rode to work and back in empty 3am city streets. Gotten lost and found my way back all in less than one week. So much more aventure has been added back into my life which was much needed since it has been close to a year since I’ve traveled. I’ve been stir crazy and plagued with wanderlust and my lovely bike has quelled it for now by allowing me to explore the city I’m currently living in a lot more.

Possibly one of the most life changing purchases I’ve made and it made me lose all interest in cars and introduce a new goal of saving up for a better BIKE. It’s awesome learning all about cycling. It’s like a netherworld separate from the rest. Or a secret society of people who have found out how to be happy but didn’t tell anyone else lol.

I’ve been at bike shops and sports store more often than any other place that’s not work or the oudoors. Learning how to fix, maintain and pack it for travel.

I don’t know what led me to cycling when I was so against t but I’m glad the universe snapped me into my senses

What is best for YOU?

The Journey is your own and no one else is on it with you.

I’ve reached another one of the many crossroads most of us face as we grow into ourselves. The place when we know exactly what we are living for and feel our hearts literally tugging us toward that direction. But instead of doing what feels natural and good to us and following that pull, we get (almost) thrown off course by negative social pressure and doubters.

This social pressure can come from social media, friends, capitalism, or someone else’s version of success or ideas of what life is all about being forced upon us.

Mine, however, comes from the people closest to me: My family.

That, to me, is what makes this a crossroads. There’s a difference between unsupportive friends and unsupportive family. Unsupportive friends can easily be chalked up to jealousy and the fact they aren’t real friends. But unsupportive family, if you come from a good family, is almost never jealousy. It stems from their fear of the unknown, the possibility of losing you, seeing you hurt or something like that so it makes it a harder thing to feel their fear and still live your life and dreams in spite of it.

There comes a time in every unconventional woman’s life where it starts to become mentally unhealthy to fake the funk and continue to live “normally” once you’ve already figured out that what you want for yourself has nothing to do with a normal existence. You want more, get more. But you have to take personal responsibility for everything that happens along the way. I found I had to listen to my family’s outrageous fears for me and ask myself a few questions. If I got into one of these absolutely outrageous worst case scenarios they genuinely believe will happen to me, will I regret going for my dreams? Or will I regret it more at 40 when I realize I never did anything I dreamed of doing because I was too busy listening to what everyone else was saying and all of the doubts.

I found that everything I want for myself is worth ALL of the risks.

The Journey is yours. It is designed specifically for YOU so if you shy away from it, do it with purpose. Not fear. If you go for it, it’s time to become independent and fearless and strategic. There will possibly be a ton of people in your life who fear what you are doing but you have to reassure them that you are NOT scared and you can’t put your own life and growth as a last priority for THEIR fears.

Yeah, Mistakes happen all throughout life and hopefully we learn from them so they will have less of a chance to repeat. Take them with you and embrace the many more mistakes to come. They are supposed to happen and grow you further, not scare you out of your journey because of something that happened years before.

All the time we have is the moment.

If you are not ready to go against the grain, to look your loved ones in the eye and say your doing it anyway then your dream life is just that, a dream, and will come true in time once you are ready to take that step.
Lers face it, There’s no other reason why you haven’t gone for it already.

All of the “What ifs?” Become less of a problem.

A Rebirth.

I hope that at some point in each of your lives, you unexpectedly come to a point in the center of your world where your past life and a new path suddenly collide in the sky and you go into severe panic as you try to piece together everything you ever believed in, the reasons why, and that you question it. And question it again. I also hope you take the next step and actually seek the answers.

My life has had a recurring theme, I’ve noticed, and there have been times where it seems as if the universe is lining up with me once I pay attention and see things simply dropping on my lap. These blessings have often been in the dguise of pain and enemies. Of love, defeat, hate, sorrow. But everything that has happened are all lining up to make me an even better and happier person.

Most of my life I complained of things I didn’t have. I can’t do this because I don’t have that. I can’t ever do this or that. When now I’m completely grateful for the things I did not have, because without it, I’ve been able to do more worthwhile things.

I’ve always complained of not having a car, and never being able to afford one. But I never stopped to appreciate the fact I have been able to travel more widely than most people I know. I’ve been able to see more places, meet more people and gain a lot more personal growth by living in New places with people of different backgrounds. It’s not that I didn’t ever have an opportunity to buy a car, it’s just that it wasn’t important to me to have it. I didn’t actually want one, it’s just what everyone was saying I SHOULD have in my life despite the fact I’m happier without it. I do more and see more without it.

I feel like I’ve been more part of the world. I experience more and I miss less. I see more, hear more. My senses are keen and I’m always alert. I’ve been able to maintain a nice athletic figure simply from my lifestyle while most of my peers with all of these luxuries seem to get bigger and bigger whenever I see them next.

I’ve been able to keep more money in my pockets because I don’t buy gas, insurance, maintenance, tickets or paying for parking, smog and dumb hassles.
Its natural for me to figure out how to navigate new places when traveling because I’ve had plenty of time to build those skills. Buses, trains, walking.

I’ve become more in tune with the earth and nature because I don’t go from house, to steel, to destination. I walk through all the seasons, the people, their emotions, the homeless, the cities, parks, day, night. I see the changes, see new animals being taught by their parents how to swim and fly and hunt. I stop and swim in the river, or eat in the shade when I’m tired. The world becomes my home again instead of a foreign place.

Minimalism is only one example of how my two worlds both collided to birth new beliefs and changes in me. But all of the past collisions led to this and this will lead to more and I’m already anticipating what’s next.